Loosing a Child
Benjamin’s Find-A-Grave Memorial Page
We lost our expected son less than a month ago (he was almost 41 weeks). Sarah had a placenta abruption where the placenta separated from the uterus. When she knew something was wrong we left our midwife’s house and went to the hospital which was 7 minutes away. An hour later they finally do a c-section and by that time it was too late for Benjamin Isaiah. Sarah’s uterus also ruptured after being in a constant contraction for an hour. We praise the Lord that he saw fit to spare her uterus and the surgeon was able to repair the breech which was along the c-section scar.
I guess this is where the rubber hits the road so to speak and you have to decide what you truly believe about God’s word. My parents blame bad advice and bad choices for the death of Benjamin. We believe that he would have died no matter what we did, and that things worked as the Lord had intended. A week before his death Sarah had a dream that our youngest (which is 2 now) came up to her in a few years and said “Mommy, do you remember when we buried Benjamin?”
Some people say bad choices, we say God’s will. What do the scriptures say?
Deuteronomy 32:39 – “See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.”
Jeremiah 10:23 – “O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.”
Some believe that God is passively waiting for people to die and that he has no direct control over them dying. I don’t see how that can possibly be true in light of Deuteronomy 32:39. God opens and closes the womb (Gen 4:1, Gen 16:12, Luke 1:7,13, etc.), he kills and he makes alive, and above all, if you are in the elect, he wrote your name in the book of life before he created the world (Rev 13:8, 17:8, Eph 1:4). Can I prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Benjamin died because God called him home at that specific time? No, but if you believe in the sovereignty of God then you know that it is true. We believe what the Apostle Paul said:
Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
We ask that you pray for us, pray that the Lord would restore Sarah’s uterus and she be able to have vaginal deliveries instead of more c-sections. Pray that our girls would always know what their little brother meant even though he never lived outside of the womb. God called him home and spared him a life on earth fraught with sin and sorrow. He is dancing at the feet of our Lord and Saviour, we know we will see him again.
A Baby’s Secret
I’m just a little person
Who didn’t quite make it there
I went straight to be with Jesus
And I’m waiting for you here.
Don’t you fret about me Mommy
I’m of all Gods lambs, most blest
I’d have loved to stay there with you
But our Shepherd knows what’s best.
Many dwelling here where I live
Waited years to enter in
Struggled through a world of sorrow
And their lives were marred with sin.
So sweet Mommy don’t you sorrow
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus bosom
From my lovely mother’s womb.
Thank you for the name you gave me
I’d have loved to brought it fame
But if I’d lingered in earth’s shadows
I’d might instead have brought it shame.
Daddy gave me something for you
It’s our secret Mommy dear
Pressed it tight against my forehead
Whispered in my tiny ear.
I’ll be waiting for you, Mommy-
you, and Daddy, all my sisters
I’ll be with you then forever
And I’ll give you Daddy’s kiss.
Portions (c) Elsie Diamond
Psalm 116:15 – “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.”
Increasing in Him,
Paul
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