We thank you Lord for giving him to us for even a short time and pray for your blessing of more children.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

Note then 1 Peter 2:24 -

Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

Contextually, it’s sin that Jesus healed us from, so ultimately, disease may take our fleshly body, but in Christ we are healed eternally. Praise God that through Christ Jesus we are made righteous and can stand before God and say “Jesus saved me, he paid my penalty.”

We have decided to return to our favorite church (Hempstead Bible Fellowship) now that they are meeting on Sunday’s again. We have received such an outpouring of support and have been tremendously blessed by the people there.  Hempstead is a much smaller church than the other in the last post and we’re not just a number. We praise God for people that care about us and hope to continue going now that church is meeting on Sunday’s again.

Pray for Sarah’s health and the well being of my children. Sarah was pregnant with twins two months ago and miscarried one but was still having pain. Finally she was able to get a high level ultrasound which confirmed she had a tubal pregnancy. While she was in the operating room her tube ruptured and had to be removed. So in addition to Benjamin in march, we have now lost 2 more children. Our 5 year old used to pray every night that God would give mommy a safe delivery with Benjamin and then with the miscarried twins she would pray that God would keep them safe. She no longer wants to pray and doesn’t talk about new babies anymore. Pray that God would send his Holy Spirit upon her to change her heart and bring her to him.

God certainly works in mysterious ways and we are fortunate to have found this church. We praise God that there are several family integrated churches in the Houston area and we feel blessed to find one that we can go to without either calling attention to ourselves by nature of head covering or being ‘divisive’ for reformed beliefs.

The large mass had grown past my colon wall into my small intestine as well as an artery in my leg. It was also large enough to be pushing on my back making it hurt. The surgeon removed 1 ft. of my right colon, a little small intestine, and as much of the mass as he could. Pathology confirms that I have colon cancer. I guess now it’s not colon cancer since they excised that section, but regardless, I have cancer. Please pray that the Lord God will heal me of cancer for my family’s sake.

We lost our expected son less than a month ago (he was almost 41 weeks). Sarah had a placenta abruption where the placenta separated from the uterus. When she knew something was wrong we left our midwife’s house and went to the hospital which was 7 minutes away. An hour later they finally do a c-section and by that time it was too late for Benjamin Isaiah. Sarah’s uterus also ruptured after being in a constant contraction for an hour. We praise the Lord that he saw fit to spare her uterus and the surgeon was able to repair the breech which was along the c-section scar.

I guess this is where the rubber hits the road so to speak and you have to decide what you truly believe about God’s word. My parents blame bad advice and bad choices for the death of Benjamin. We believe that he would have died no matter what we did, and that things worked as the Lord had intended. A week before his death Sarah had a dream that our youngest (which is 2 now) came up to her in a few years and said “Mommy, do you remember when we buried Benjamin?”

Some people say bad choices, we say God’s will. What do the scriptures say?

Deuteronomy 32:39 – “See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.”

Jeremiah 10:23 – “O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.”

Some believe that God is passively waiting for people to die and that he has no direct control over them dying. I don’t see how that can possibly be true in light of Deuteronomy 32:39. God opens and closes the womb (Gen 4:1, Gen 16:12, Luke 1:7,13, etc.), he kills and he makes alive, and above all, if you are in the elect, he wrote your name in the book of life before he created the world (Rev 13:8, 17:8, Eph 1:4). Can I prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Benjamin died because God called him home at that specific time? No, but if you believe in the sovereignty of God then you know that it is true. We believe what the Apostle Paul said:

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

We ask that you pray for us, pray that the Lord would restore Sarah’s uterus and she be able to have vaginal deliveries instead of more c-sections. Pray that our girls would always know what their little brother meant even though he never lived outside of the womb. God called him home and spared him a life on earth fraught with sin and sorrow. He is dancing at the feet of our Lord and Saviour, we know we will see him again.

A Baby’s Secret

I’m just a little person
Who didn’t quite make it there
I went straight to be with Jesus
And I’m waiting for you here.

Don’t you fret about me Mommy
I’m of all Gods lambs, most blest
I’d have loved to stay there with you
But our Shepherd knows what’s best.

Many dwelling here where I live
Waited years to enter in
Struggled through a world of sorrow
And their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet Mommy don’t you sorrow
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus bosom
From my lovely mother’s womb.

Thank you for the name you gave me
I’d have loved to brought it fame
But if I’d lingered in earth’s shadows
I’d might instead have brought it shame.

Daddy gave me something for you
It’s our secret Mommy dear
Pressed it tight against my forehead
Whispered in my tiny ear.

I’ll be waiting for you, Mommy-
you, and Daddy, all my sisters
I’ll be with you then forever
And I’ll give you Daddy’s kiss.

Portions (c) Elsie Diamond

Psalm 116:15 – “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.”

We have gone to several family integrated churches since the last update. We had left the previous church where we though a ministry opportunity would exist when that didn’t materialize and the people did not seem to be on board with family integration at all. We had gone back to a small baptist church of <25 people that was great, they were believers in sovereign grace, they were loving and compassionate, but as we found out, they were family integrated by circumstance and not by choice. They were looking for a new building and wanted children to be given their own class instead of keeping them with their parents. We were told one Sunday that our kids were a distraction. While they were moving around a bit, it was also 1:30 and they’re hyper. They were diciplined and calmed down.

Someone in the church complained about them and we were told that we needed to get them to sit still. While it was done ‘in love’, it made us realize that family integration does sometimes cause distractions, but it shouldn’t mean that every time an incident happens that there should be chastisement for it. Training children takes time, patience, and yes, a little distraction at times. As much as we hated to leave the church and hop once again, my wife and I thought it wasn’t best for our family to stay at a church that wasn’t truly welcoming of having children in the service.

We have made a church 85 miles away (one way) our home church. It is pastored by someone we knew from our non family integration days. He has 7 children and we share a lot of the same beliefs. While we do differ and the church is dispensationalist, it is nice to be around other large families and not be the odd man out. They understand that sometimes training children is noisy and are supportive of us and other families with young children.

It is refreshing being able to talk to a pastor that ‘is on  your side’. He realizes that we all make mistakes and we all don’t know it all. He is humble enough to talk to others in the church about beliefs and realizes that we’ll all on a spiritual journey and we can all learn from each other and discuss beliefs with an open mind. Even though we can only go once every several weeks to church, it has been good for the kids to have somewhere they can play at after lunch and to see how the other children behave properly. We feel even with differences of opinion in religious beliefs and differences in discipline that we are still welcome as brothers and sisters in Christ.

We thought in the beginning that the Lord may have a full time opportunity here for us and that may still happen, however with us being reformed in soteriology and the church not, that poses a problem. Regardless, I believe God definitely led us to this church for a reason, even if we don’t wind up staying long, there are people he wants us to meet and things he wants us to do. The most important part of a church are the people. Through this church we’re seeing the power of conviction when God’s word is preached. We may not agree with every point the pastor makes, but it’s meaningful to see a couple living in sin come before the congregation and publicly state that they recognize they are living in sin and want to get married! Yes what we believe is important and we need to teach others that modest dressing and head covering IS important according to God’s word, but we must also remember that at the end of the day, what is most important is not us being dogmatic but the people of the church and the relationships we build with them.

I am still in the ministry program and am waiting to see how the Lord leads me with that. I expect to be finished this fall and will be praying for God to show us how we are to serve him.